A combination of autism and gender stereotyping has historically served to render girls and women not just invisible within society but to themselves, with high cost to self-identity, self-esteem, poor development of skills for self-care, or ability to assert their needs and rights. A study focussing on autistic adolescent girls and their experiences of anxiety sought ways of facilitating the participant girls’ voices. The overarching theme was ‘Where can we be what we are?’ in relation to a definition of ‘home’ as being: ‘Where we can be what we are’: the girls didn’t feel at home anywhere. The school environment was found to be damaging to their mental and physical health; additionally cultural expectations at school and at home caused discomfort and discord. This primary research was extended for Scottish Autism’s Right Click online resource with a survey and focus groups held with school-aged girls. Findings from these areas of research, and this, what has been learnt through SWAN and my own personal lived experience all support that gender stereotyping is a key challenge for autistic girls (and others). The concept of gender choice as another form of masking for autistic girls is explored.